My daughter's nap schedule (although often absent) is the bane of my existence. Although I feel obliged to say that I love EVERY minute I spend with my daughter, I will not withhold the the fact that I look forward to "nap time." Not only does the nap serve as a time for me to catch my breath, maybe grab a cup of tea and a snack, but it is also the time for me to head on up to the studio and make a few marks. The minute there is quiet on the monitor, is like hearing the referee to say "GO!" at the starting line.
But then comes this sickness in my stomach. Oh gosh, I must create, NOW. Hurry up, think of something, make, fast, do, succeed. Oh yes, that is where it gets really tricky. Not only do I expect to make a few marks on the canvas, but I must succeed: finish: cross off one thing on the to-do list. I want to apply for this show, send one to that gallery, sell to these people.
This is a common struggle for many creative people. After one success, another is expected immediately following and then another. But one thing I have learned as an artist is that you MUST fall, you MUST take a bad fall in order to progress towards something better.
My daughter, now 11 months old, just started crawling. For months I thought she was on the verge; hands and knees, rocking back and forth. But I could see that she was fearful of falling and now the same is happening with walking. She fearfully reaches out to make sure BOTH my hands are there before taking her first step. Sometimes caution and fear need to be left behind to take that first step.
No comments:
Post a Comment